In an unprecedented display of ineptitude, 95.9 KISS FM morning host, Otis Day, was eliminated from the office NCAA Bracket Contest before play concluded in the opening round. Day, who admits to not watching a single minute of NCAA men’s basketball this season, or any season, predicted a Drake-Wisconsin championship game to be played on April 8th at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona.
Drake was one of the tournament’s earliest exits, falling 66-61 to Washington State in opening round action on Thursday. Wisconsin survived an additional day on the calendar, but not on the bracket, failing to advance out of their first round match-up against James Madison. The carnage was not limited solely to Day’s title game prediction. Day also lost a pair of Sweet 16 teams (Auburn and Morehead State) and two Elite 8 squads (Kentucky and South Carolina) in the tournament’s infancy.
Day, a self-acknowledged critic of the general idea of fandom, was undaunted by the historical defeat, stating:
“This is why I don’t play the game of rooting for a team. You’re just cheering for laundry. Laundry. That’s it. Look how angry it makes you all. Me? I’m not angry at all about this. I don’t care. The only reason I filled out a bracket is because Joe and Nick thought it would be funny.”
Joe and Nick are Day’s boss and co-worker, respectively. It was, indeed, at their collective urging that he fill out a bracket, but neither is laughing at Day’s expense.
“I’m actually sad, to be honest,” said Nick. “You should survive the opening round by accident. I mean, this is terrible. Like, small child terrible…like when your kid picks based on a team’s colors or mascot. This is an alarming display of ineffectiveness from a full-grown adult. I haven’t seen anything like this in all my years. I think the penguins at the zoo submitted a better bracket.”
As it turns out, the penguins at the zoo did submit a better bracket, a near perfect bracket, in fact, losing only 4 of the tournament’s first 16 games, and retaining all of their Sweet 16 predictions.
As far as Nick’s assertion that he has not seen anything like this in all his years walking the Earth, our research department has confirmed that to be factually accurate. Since the NCAA began the tournament set-up in 1939, there is no known bracket ever submitted to display less accuracy after the first 48 hours of play. Day wears the badge of ignorance with pride, however:
“Just add it to the list of things I’m known for…like swimming,” he said.
